When “Listen to Your Body” Isn’t Helpful (And What You Can Do Instead)

We hear it everywhere—“Listen to your body.” It’s the advice that shows up on yoga mats, wellness blogs, and social media infographics, nestled between “drink water” and “get some sleep.” But for some of us, that advice is a little more complicated.

For me, listening to my body used to mean…not eating.

Not because I was trying to skip meals, but because I genuinely didn’t know when I was hungry. I grew up in an environment filled with drug addiction, inconsistency, ADHD, abuse, and survival. I lived in a food desert, where the nearest healthy option was miles away and completely unaffordable. Nutrition was never discussed unless it was in the form of a government pamphlet or a sugar-packed free lunch. Food was often a question mark, not a guarantee.

In high school, my friends would bring me lunches just to make sure I ate something that day. I carried shame about that for a long time—until I realized it was never my fault. They saw a need and filled it with kindness. I see that now as community care. That kindness saved me in more ways than I knew.

But that environment had consequences.

For a long time, my body didn’t send the “right” signals. I didn’t feel hunger cues. My appetite was irregular and unreliable. I was 92 pounds at 5’7” in 2016 when I finally started learning about nutrition and what it actually meant to nourish a body—not just feed it, not just survive, but thrive.

That’s why I want to say something that might feel controversial in the wellness world:

Listening to your body isn’t always good advice.

Especially when your body is still learning what safety, structure, and nourishment feel like.

Why “Listening to Your Body” Doesn’t Work for Everyone

If you’ve experienced trauma, lived in food insecurity, or have neurodivergence like ADHD or autism (hi, me too), your body might not send clear or accurate messages.

• ADHD can delay hunger cues or make you hyperfocus through meals.

• Trauma can disconnect you from your body completely.

• Food insecurity teaches your body not to expect regular meals.

• Emotional chaos (like growing up with addiction or abuse) can confuse the difference between hunger and anxiety.

So, when people say “Just eat when you’re hungry,” it assumes that your body and brain are already in sync. For some of us, they’ve never been.

I had to relearn how to eat. Not in the trendy, “intuitive eating” sense, but in the deeply unglamorous way of setting alarms, packing snacks, trying new foods I didn’t know how to cook, and forgiving myself when I forgot a meal. I had to learn discipline before intuition. Because there was no intuition to start with—only survival patterns.

Building a New Relationship with Food

In 2016, I started to really care about what I put into my body. It wasn’t because I had some big wake-up call or watched an inspirational documentary. It was because I felt awful. I was underweight, weak, foggy, and exhausted. I started reading about nutrition—real nutrition, not fad diets or gimmicks—and slowly, I began to rebuild.

I’m 5’6” now and 128 pounds with healthy muscle mass. I follow a whole food, plant-based lifestyle—not because I think everyone should, but because it works for me. I eat in a way that supports my energy, my workouts, and my mental clarity. But I also understand that everyone’s journey looks different. Your body, your goals, your history—it all matters.

And here’s what I’ve learned that helped me most:

1.

Start with Structure

If your body doesn’t give you clear cues, you need to give it some.

• Set reminders to eat every 3-4 hours, even if it’s just a snack.

• Meal prep so you don’t have to decide what to eat when you’re already tired.

• Keep snacks you actually like on hand—ones that taste good and make you feel good.

Over time, your body will begin to trust that food is coming. That trust can bring back some of those missing signals.

2.

Redefine Success

Some days, “healthy eating” looks like leafy greens and lentils. Other days, it’s a peanut butter sandwich and frozen veggies because that’s all you had time for—and that’s okay. We’re not aiming for perfect. We’re aiming for better, more consistent, and sustainable.

Ask yourself:

• Am I eating enough to support what I want to do today?

• Is this food helping me feel more grounded, energized, or clear?

• What is one small step I can take today to support tomorrow?

3.

Let Your Goals Guide You (Not Guilt)

Your goals don’t have to be weight-related. Maybe you want to feel stronger, sleep better, manage your energy, or feel less foggy in the afternoon. Maybe it is about gaining or losing weight. Whatever your reason, it’s valid. And it will help shape how you eat, how often, and what kinds of meals feel right for you.

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution here. Nutrition is about support, not restriction.

4.

Give Yourself Compassion

It took me years to understand that just because I didn’t feel hunger didn’t mean I didn’t need food. Just because I forgot to eat didn’t mean I was broken. It meant I had some things to unlearn.

We all come from different starting points. If your body’s signals are quiet or confusing, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It might just mean you’re still becoming. And that’s okay.

5.

Honor the Journey

Health isn’t a before-and-after photo. It’s a process. It’s the meals your friends brought you in high school. It’s the first time you set a reminder to eat and followed through. It’s the protein-packed smoothie you drank even though you weren’t sure if you were hungry. It’s learning. It’s showing up. It’s forgiving yourself and trying again.

You don’t have to be plant-based, gluten-free, keto, paleo, or anything else unless it works for you. I share my plant-based lifestyle not to convince others, but to be part of the conversation. I believe we all deserve access to good food, tools that work, and room to grow.

Wherever you’re at, know this:

You are not behind. You are not broken. You are becoming.

And that counts for everything.